I love my friends and family for being excited for me when I let it slip that I was working on a novel. But when the inevitable questions come, I want to run and hide. "What is it about?" "Can I read it?" Well, it is about people and things and no, you cannot. Even with how tough of a critic I am on myself, I am afraid of sharing my work or even describing it in too detailed a manner. Yes, part of me still feels silly even saying those words: I am writing a novel. My eyes threaten to roll even at myself the second it spews forth from my mouth or fingertips. Vulnerability. Yes. Because the writing is still raw and rough and it hasn't quite sunk in yet that I am doing it. So, bear with me. I also fear The American Idol Effect. Don't even pretend like you don't know what I'm getting at here. Those poor souls who audition with voices better suited for torture chambers than the radio. Every single one of them has a group of cheerleaders singing their praises and you can't help but wonder if they have cotton balls permanently lodged in their ear holes. That scares me. I am surrounded by loving and encouraging and wonderful people and I'm afraid of the bias. Undeserved accolades and applause are nothing but a recipe for trouble down the line when I get to the publishing stage. Let me come to you when I'm ready to share. Don't be offended by my secrecy: It's not you, it's me.
